IC Contact

[functionoverfeels]

Hello. You've reached Quake Woman. If this is something urgent or life-threatening, you should have better ways to contact me, but I will respond here if necessary and as quickly as possible. If this is not a matter of grave importance, I will respond as soon as I can. Thank you.

Comments

voice;

[deadtective]

Hey, so. Robots are good with computer stuff, right? Just in general. They don't need to be...special computer robots or whatever.

[THIS IS THE SMOOTHEST STARTER TO A FAVOR REQUEST SHE HAS EVER MADE RIGHT DOWN TO THE AWKWARD TONE YOU'RE NAILING IT HERE HAZEL]

voice;

[functionoverfeels]

...You could say that. [incredible. she really hasn't gotten any less awkward.] Do you need help with something?

[deadtective]

Yeah, actually! If it's not a problem or whatever, I don't mean to be pushy.

[because that well-oiled intro probably didn't give that impression, so she wants to make it clear. she's not trying to twist Tempo's arm or anything, she's just looking for help in petty vengeance.]

I need to find out where somebody lives. Can you do that through stuff they've posted on the network?

[functionoverfeels]

Wouldn't it be easier to just ask them?

[deadtective]

He's not going to tell me now, because if I don't know where he lives I can't ruin his Valentines Day!

[that. sounds a lot better in her head. IT'S ALL PERFECTLY REASONABLE SHE SWEARS]

[functionoverfeels]

You want to use me to locate someone so you can ruin their holiday?

[deadtective]

I'm not using you, I'm asking a friend for a favor. You can say no, it's fine.

[this is an important distinction to make, and Hazel breaks out of her vengeance diatribe to give it its proper due. of course, she sails right back into it immediately afterwards, but.]

Anyway, he started it! He knows what's coming, this isn't going to be a surprise!

[functionoverfeels]

[okay, this is interesting and confusing both at once. she doesn't know Hazel well, but she never seemed like the kind of person to enact non-serious revenge on someone just for existing. ...wait, never mind, that seems like exactly the kind of thing Hazel would do. and she played the friend card.]

I could narrow down his location to a city based on the IP, but that doesn't seem very helpful. I don't know whether I would be able to do more than that since I haven't tried analyzing whether the posts have metadata associated with them. It's also possible the government has installed safeguards to prevent people from being able to pinpoint locations like that.

It's within the realm of possibility, but it really might be easier to ask one of the people he lives with or one of his other friends.

[deadtective]

I think I know where he works? I mean, I don't know if that helps at all.

[she makes a thoughtful noise. all of this tech stuff is pretty much beyond Hazel, so Tempo's response has basically boiled down to 'I know some of those word'. that said...]

...if it doesn't, I guess I could just wait around and follow him home from there. That's a lot of work, though.

[functionoverfeels]

What exactly did he do to attract your attention? And on Valentine's Day, as well. Love is a very strange emotion.

[deadtective]

This has nothing to do with love and everything to do with the fact that I can't eat chocolate anymore. If I can't be happy, no one can.

[there are a lot of steps missing between these two statements, but it's internally logical to Hazel and so she doesn't notice at all. maybe Tempo should use those general robot computer skills and go check the network out herself for whatever started this debacle.]

[functionoverfeels]

Hazel, this is the pettiest thing I have seen anyone do in a long time.

[but old Tempo would have loved it.]

I'll do what I can.

[deadtective]

Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

[if she weren't on voice she'd probably be clapping her hands together in gratitude as well. as it is she's just talking very fast and loud to make her sincerity apparent.]

You can have some of the chocolate if you want when I nab it! I mean, I can't eat it.

[functionoverfeels]

Neither can I. [yeah. yeah, she's smiling. you coaxed one out of her, Hazel.] The only thing in this for me is the challenge. And getting to enable a friend's bad decisions.

[deadtective]

[see? this is friendship. this right here.]

Hey, you're not going to hear me saying anything bad about it. Challenge away - I'll throw even more stupid requirements on top if you start getting too bored.

[functionoverfeels]

Let's see if I can do it first. It would likely be easier if I could be the one receiving incoming communication. I'll make a post to the network shortly to try to get his attention.

[deadtective]

You could always just leave him a private message if he doesn't take the bait. You know, about something casual and non-suspicious.

[like this conversation. so casual, so subtle.]

[functionoverfeels]

I've been meaning to make my presence known to the greater network, and I think I know a guaranteed way to get him to reply, from what little I've seen of him. He will suspect nothing.

[deadtective]

Perfect. You are super cool, have I mentioned that yet?

voice

[hypnotherapy]

[ Wow, he actually sounds excited. Which is..honestly not a big step from his normal voice, but it's noticeable enough.

ALSO WHAT, HE'S USING AN ACTUAL AUDIO FUNCTION NOW ]

Tempo, I have some good news for you! Regarding battlechips, that is. While we haven't developed them for use by others yet, I'm happy to inform you that the Porter saw fit to take me home and bring me back with battlechip data for study.

So, adaptations you can use to your advantage might be faster to develop than we previously thought.

voice

[functionoverfeels]

[Tempo forces a gasping noise, which is at best an imperfect simulacrum but she'll have to do what she can without lungs.]

I can't believe this! I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice over the network. And the news about battlechips is exciting, as well. Welcome back! What sort of data do we—you have to work with?

[hypnotherapy]

[ He laughs a little, at that. But it's pretty exciting, and he thought this would be better than conveying the news through text as usual. ]

It's a special occasion, so I thought I'd do something different for it. As for the chip data...I'll send you the list.

[ And over the list goes. It's a fairly small sample, but Tempo can likely see a lot of potential application in it...well, apart from the navi chips, which he's marked off as 'only for netbattling use', but there's a variety. ]

I only have 15, so it's not my full folder of 30. But I think you can see the advantages already.

[functionoverfeels]

Oh, this is a very impressive list. I'm getting a good impression of the type of fighter you are, I think—not that that's a bad thing. And I'm even getting a few ideas of my own that might not involve these chips—so thank you for showing me that information!

[she can't help but laugh a little; she thinks she has some part of Magicman pegged and already knows what to say next.]

And since I know you'll ask, I have limited sonar capabilities and never considered weaponizing them until now. With the right modifications I might not even need a battlechip for it.

[hypnotherapy]

If I'm fighting someone, I like to make sure that they can't surprise me too much. Though I've made many mistakes...it's a good thing netnavis are durable. [ Human - and superhuman, come to think of it - fights have more risks and unpredictability, more potential for serious injury. ] If I can inspire you to branch off on your own path, so much the better.

What do you mean by 'limited sonar capabilities'? [ He sounds curious. Sonar isn't a thing that really comes up in his daily life - fully digital, after all. ] Is it just a limit on range?

[functionoverfeels]

[rather than get all mushy about just how much Magicman's inspired her, which she's sure he's had enough of at this point, she'll just smile on her end of the conversation and move on politely.]

I may be overselling it. I can send sonic pulses through solid matter and get a fairly comprehensive picture of anything that might be waiting to be discovered on the other side. It's a little like echolocation, though not through the air. It's more useful for excavation, but I see no reason sound waves couldn't be modified into a weapon if necessary.

[hypnotherapy]

[ HE'S VERY FLATTERED, TEMPO, HE JUST DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT...HE NEVER KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH THESE THINGS (these things being 'positive attention' and 'being an actual role model'). ]

Ah, I see. That's useful, though. I suppose if you modified it enough, you could use it to break solid matter, too - though you've got a drill for that, so that's probably over-complicating things. But it'd be quieter.

Still - I hope the information will serve you well. What kind of modifications were you thinking of, out of curiosity? Or do you not have any solid ideas yet?

[functionoverfeels]

Oh, it's just a general idea right now. I haven't had time to flesh it out yet. Actions of potentially dubious morality, it turns out, are very good at getting me to think outside the box! I may be starting to see the appeal.

[is she joking.]

[hypnotherapy]

[ Another short huff of laughter. ] Well, I look forward to seeing it, when you see fit to reveal it.

I'm going to take that as a joke. I hope I'm not influencing you into worse ways.

[functionoverfeels]

I don't think you have to worry about that. My programming would make it very difficult to do the things that most criminal acts are based on, and even if I had the capability of changing that, I doubt I would. It would change who I am at my core. I'm not sure I'd be okay with that.

Or maybe I would, after I'd been changed.

I'm sorry, this got full of existential dread all of a sudden.

[hypnotherapy]

If anyone changes you that drastically, they have to answer to me. At the very least. [ He can't hide the fact that the lightheartedness has gone out of his tone, and it's been replaced by something a lot more bitter. It's much easier to read through his voice than it is through text. ]

Don't apologise. I imagine it would be a constant worry for you - since a very drastic change is something you've already gone through, and you're having to relearn things in the face of that.

[functionoverfeels]

[that's an unexpected reaction. if she had a heart, it would be swelling over how quickly Magicman would jump to her defense. he really is her friend.]

It's not something I can say I don't think about. I got off lucky, in a sense. Not just with the aftermath of my mother's choices, but with the scope of the choices she made. I was unable to express myself, but my core principles did not leave me. Whereas... have I told you about the time Mega Man was forcibly reprogrammed to serve Dr. Wily?

That is the prevailing terror for me.

[hypnotherapy]

[ He cares about Tempo, but he also has many and complex feelings about artificial life being reprogrammed forcibly to suit others' needs and that basically all boils down into 'resentment and anger towards god damn humans' it's actually amazing he doesn't have some kind of complex about scientists ]

It's always wise to consider the worst-case scenario. Though possibly not too much, otherwise you get what Fireman likes to call 'stop standing there and overthinking things and let's go, Magicman'.

..You didn't tell me, no. [ There's a slight, cold thread of - something strange in his voice, that he can't quite hide. ] Though it explains itself quite well.

It's a shame when those who have the power to do that take advantage of it. [ He could use stronger words but he doesn't want to scare Tempo. ]

[functionoverfeels]

[she laughs quietly at the idea of somebody reprimanding Magicman like that, although the rest of their conversation isn't very much of a laughing matter.]

I can only hope you aren't speaking from experience. [but she doubts it. he contains multitudes.] Without meaning to offend, it's exactly the kind of thing I've come to expect from Dr. Wily. It was almost impressive in its audacity.

[hypnotherapy]

I've never had that particular experience, no. But you remember our first conversation. You said 'it sounds more personal than a simple thought experiment or discussion of ideas'.

And you would be right, in that regard. [ He still sounds light and pleasant, but there's that bitter edge, razor sharp. ]

No need to apologise. He's obviously different from the one I know personally. [ He kinda wants to punch this Wily in the face. ] Not a very pleasant person, the one you're used to. [ UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE YEAR ]