IC Contact

[functionoverfeels]

Hello. You've reached Quake Woman. If this is something urgent or life-threatening, you should have better ways to contact me, but I will respond here if necessary and as quickly as possible. If this is not a matter of grave importance, I will respond as soon as I can. Thank you.

Comments

[functionoverfeels]

Wouldn't it be easier to just ask them?

[deadtective]

He's not going to tell me now, because if I don't know where he lives I can't ruin his Valentines Day!

[that. sounds a lot better in her head. IT'S ALL PERFECTLY REASONABLE SHE SWEARS]

[functionoverfeels]

You want to use me to locate someone so you can ruin their holiday?

[deadtective]

I'm not using you, I'm asking a friend for a favor. You can say no, it's fine.

[this is an important distinction to make, and Hazel breaks out of her vengeance diatribe to give it its proper due. of course, she sails right back into it immediately afterwards, but.]

Anyway, he started it! He knows what's coming, this isn't going to be a surprise!

[functionoverfeels]

[okay, this is interesting and confusing both at once. she doesn't know Hazel well, but she never seemed like the kind of person to enact non-serious revenge on someone just for existing. ...wait, never mind, that seems like exactly the kind of thing Hazel would do. and she played the friend card.]

I could narrow down his location to a city based on the IP, but that doesn't seem very helpful. I don't know whether I would be able to do more than that since I haven't tried analyzing whether the posts have metadata associated with them. It's also possible the government has installed safeguards to prevent people from being able to pinpoint locations like that.

It's within the realm of possibility, but it really might be easier to ask one of the people he lives with or one of his other friends.

[deadtective]

I think I know where he works? I mean, I don't know if that helps at all.

[she makes a thoughtful noise. all of this tech stuff is pretty much beyond Hazel, so Tempo's response has basically boiled down to 'I know some of those word'. that said...]

...if it doesn't, I guess I could just wait around and follow him home from there. That's a lot of work, though.

[functionoverfeels]

What exactly did he do to attract your attention? And on Valentine's Day, as well. Love is a very strange emotion.

[deadtective]

This has nothing to do with love and everything to do with the fact that I can't eat chocolate anymore. If I can't be happy, no one can.

[there are a lot of steps missing between these two statements, but it's internally logical to Hazel and so she doesn't notice at all. maybe Tempo should use those general robot computer skills and go check the network out herself for whatever started this debacle.]

[functionoverfeels]

Hazel, this is the pettiest thing I have seen anyone do in a long time.

[but old Tempo would have loved it.]

I'll do what I can.

[deadtective]

Thankyouthankyouthankyou.

[if she weren't on voice she'd probably be clapping her hands together in gratitude as well. as it is she's just talking very fast and loud to make her sincerity apparent.]

You can have some of the chocolate if you want when I nab it! I mean, I can't eat it.

[functionoverfeels]

Neither can I. [yeah. yeah, she's smiling. you coaxed one out of her, Hazel.] The only thing in this for me is the challenge. And getting to enable a friend's bad decisions.

[deadtective]

[see? this is friendship. this right here.]

Hey, you're not going to hear me saying anything bad about it. Challenge away - I'll throw even more stupid requirements on top if you start getting too bored.

[functionoverfeels]

Let's see if I can do it first. It would likely be easier if I could be the one receiving incoming communication. I'll make a post to the network shortly to try to get his attention.

[deadtective]

You could always just leave him a private message if he doesn't take the bait. You know, about something casual and non-suspicious.

[like this conversation. so casual, so subtle.]

[functionoverfeels]

I've been meaning to make my presence known to the greater network, and I think I know a guaranteed way to get him to reply, from what little I've seen of him. He will suspect nothing.

[deadtective]

Perfect. You are super cool, have I mentioned that yet?